In the category of “not necessarily new, but new to me” I ran across this article about a doctor who claims that he can make you thin by sewing a patch on to your tongue.  Not surprisingly, the product is called the “miracle patch”.  The procedure seems simple enough.  A patch  is sewn onto the tongue that makes it extremely uncomfortable, if not impossible to swallow solid food.  Now you might get concerned upon reading this that without solid food the patient might starve to death.  But never fear!  The same doctor also sells a nutritional liquid supplement that “meets all nutritional needs” while “maximizing weight loss results”.

“It’s cheaper and faster and more attractive than wiring your jaw shut!” say the doctors.  “It is safer and cheaper than gastric bypass surgery.”  Of course, the doctors are altering the function of yet another perfectly normal organ and making it impossible for you to eat anything other than our prepackaged pap.  But hey, you’ll be (at least temporarily) thin!

This procedure is still listed on the site of the cosmetic surgeon interviewed for the article.  So while it’s not being touted much in the news any more, the surgery is apparently still being performed.  This is horrifying to me on so many levels.  It’s yet another example of the current spate of “we’ll do anything to make you temporarily thin and us permanently rich” school of medical procedures.  And I have to admit, that I was struck by the symbolism.  During this procedure, the docs are literally holding your tongue.  And it seems to me that this is precisely what society is continually asking us fat people to do.  Don’t taste.  And for heaven’s sake, DON’T TALK!  The web site assures us that for people who have undergone this procedure, “speech typically returns to baseline within 48 hours.”  I guess this means that physiological barriers to speaking normalize in a short time after surgery.  But what about the psychological barriers?  Isn’t this just another way to say that people who aren’t perfectly thin are without worth and that people who don’t have perfect bodies shouldn’t be allowed to eat or even taste?  Isn’t this just another striking example of how people without socially-mandated “perfect bodies” are told to hold their tongues?

Well you can just forget about that!  I’ve written nearly 400 blog posts on Fat Chick Sings, and I really have no intention of shutting up any time soon.  I’m going to continue to talk and sing and whistle and shout!  So how about you, my loyal readers?  Does the proverbial, societal cat got your tongue?  Or would you like to join me in a size accepting, bigotry smashing, virtual primal scream?  What do you say?  Shall we free our tongues to taste and savor all of the amazing things this world has to offer?  I will use my patch free, pliant and liberated tongue to whisper, shout, sing, and simply say, “Yes.”

Love,

The Fat Chick

P.S. Hey all you Fit Fatties out there!  Don’t forget to enter your miles so we can reach Seal Beach for our Virtual Trek across the USA this Saturday!

P.S.S. Interested in joining me for my training programs?  I’m offering a one-month free trial period for any of my training programs for just $25.  Offer ends soon, so join now!