[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1TmeBd9338] My husband and I have been watching a lot of vintage James Bond lately.  So  this morning when I was trying to decide what to write in my blog, I have to confess the above scene popped into my head.  Except to James Bond’s query, “So do you expect me to talk?” Goldfinger’s reply IN MY HEAD was “No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to diet!”  It’s always an interesting morning when your hubby rolls over in bed and asks you what you’re giggling about.

It led to an exceptionally silly line of thinking wherein I imagined what the secret evil lair of the weight loss industry would look like.  I wondered, could the weight loss industry qualify for James Bond nemesis format?  Let’s see:

  1. Impossibly thin, conventionally beautiful babes working as a front for the organization? Check.
  2. Attempted world domination by bankrupting various segments of the population? Check.
  3.  Perpetuation of male-dominated societal stereotypes? Check.
  4. Organization selling something completely different than what is outwardly offered? Check.
  5. Organization offering products that are inherently dangerous to the population?  Check.
  6. Organization infiltrating other society groups including not for profits for financial gain?  Check!

Yup, the weight loss industry (on the whole) qualifies for a secret evil lair.  And with over $60 Billion per year in revenue (that’s Billion with a “B”) there’s a lot of money to work with.  Surely they could afford a hollowed out volcano or two.  There’s probably even enough left over for a private submarine entrance and a tank with sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads.

And the prospects for the world weight loss industry as an evil empire look frankly, pretty good.  After all weight bias is extremely useful:

  1. Government running out of money?  Being forced to cut popular social programs?  Blame fat people! Prescribe weight loss.
  2. Company benefits program cutting into CEO’s yacht fund?  Threaten to cut benefits without weight loss.
  3. Faced with diagnosing a difficult condition or disease?  Prescribe weight loss.
  4. Health insurance costs spiraling out of control?  Government deadlocked regarding solutions?  Blame fat people!  Prescribe weight loss.
  5. Can’t balance a city budget?  Arbitrarily single out inexpensive foods, make them illegal, and prescribe weight loss.

Yup, all that’s left to do is pick out the sexy mid century modern furniture and come up with naughty double entendre names for the front office girls.

Because our governments don’t want us to talk, they just want us to die(t).


The Fat Chick

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