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Not all big girls have big cleavage. But some of us do. And when we dare to reveal them in public, look out! The morality police may just be on the way. This week we’ve had yet another attack of B-BIP or Big Boobs In Public. And while the world seems extremely tolerant of T-TIP (Tiny Titties in Public) B-BIP tend to fuel a stampede of blanket and towel wielding, hand wringing panic stricken people eager to cover those bad boys up.
Now here’s the thing. Larger breasts make more cleavage. So even if you cover the same amount of breast with a swimsuit top or a bra or a dress, it won’t look quite the same on a bigger rack. And whether it’s the sheer size of those magnificent orbs or the fabric straining, engineering defying potential of them, B-BIP freak people right the f@#$ out.
Here are a few case histories. Just this week a woman was kicked out of a water park in Independence, Missouri for wearing a string bikini.
Madelyn Sheaffer insists that plenty of other women were dressed in a similar manner but weren’t asked to leave or cover up. She suggests that those women were both younger and skinnier. And I have to confess, having been to a lot of water parks in Missouri, that this is likely to be true. I’ve seen many skinny young things at water parks dressed in a similar manner. But this woman presents a triple threat to American eyeballs. She presents ECO B-BIP (Extremely Confident Older Big Boobs In Public). OMGWTFBBQ! She gives young people the idea that older people can still feel sexy! She presents the notion that you don’t have to be stick thin to feel good in your body! She’s got impressive ink on her torso! Look away Johnny. Just. Look. Away.
And B-BIP don’t just go to water parks. They also try to go to prom. Oh the horror! Brittany Minder apparently terrified prom officials when she clad her B-BIP in a gorgeous, strapless, purple gown and tried to go to the big dance.
Now granted, there was a dress code in place, and Brittany even had to sign an agreement stipulating that she would abide by the dress code at the prom. But Mindy and her most cool and righteous parents suggest that the dress code is not applied evenly. They suggest that Brittany was forced to cover up at prom not because her dress was skimpier than many others who appeared at the prom, but simply because her chest was bigger. Brittany’s mom offers this stunning and simple defense for her daughter’s B-BIP:
“All women are not created equal, and you can not compare a golf ball to a grapefruit. It ain’t gonna happen,” Kim Minder said.
B-BIP even terrify television executives. A while back, Lane Bryant created an ad for its new line of lingerie.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyCuITBD6dk&w=560&h=315]
Apparently both Fox and ABC refused to air the ad–claiming that the “plus-sized cleavage is too prominent”. These networks both regularly air Victoria’s Secret ads featuring models in the same amount of clothing or even less. There’s nothing offensive about the ad, unless you just can’t handle B-BIP:
This is much ado about much, says Peggy Wang in Buzzfeed: “There’s nothing too scandalous” in the ad — unless, of course, “giant boobs scare you.”
But that’s the thing. Clearly giant boobs do scare us. So I’m dying to know what you think my gentle readers. Should we carefully cover and camouflage our BBIP you know cuz’ of teh children? Or should we wear ’em out high and proud? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Meanwhile, I’m taking my B-BIP to exercise class. Gotta bounce!
The Fat Chick
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